| Passion Poetry 101 |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|12:20 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pensive | ] |
Scarlet Garden
With words worth the wounds
And a smile worth the mile
A fury casts upon her
Like a shadow swallowing whole
A light shines its brightest
When blazing in gloom
Devastating blows of submit
A splatter on the wall
Scarlet girl
You burden my inner
My color my death
My fatal dispatch
Well let it spread and make them see
For you I’ve died
To see your smile beam with delight
Why the solemn face
Why the grief embrace
A parting wall linking the dead and undead
Stainless blemish and tainted beliefs
Little by little
She reached for the glow
My radiance and embers had swallowed her whole
Shedding away the shadow she seized
Illuminating skies
Her grudge turned to ashes
And together we bed
A pit of pity or sorrowful regret
The vines tangle this way
The blossoms bloom there
Flowered by blood a garden will breed
No water is needed
No soil will be
Simply the ashes of the Romeo story
---
Render Null & Void
a salted trickle seeping steep
over porcelain lips and shattered proposals
thoughtless naivety surmounts the mind
no longer inspired they fade and expire
such great words lead a cast off
catastrophic shrills and blunders
this road would stop to the final thrust
one quick breath and all is spent
swerves and curves
thoughts go blank
a flash of life fly-by-night
where has this led
the beating road beneath the wheels of a lifeline sequence
like the pumping of blood through the tangling of an artery
channel in vein when a snap breaks a blue
crimson free
crimson be
bleed on for the setting of dawn
omen dismay
and a summoned clue
beneath the nighttime shade of blue
will you concur to be broken
agree to be stolen
regeneration no longer exists
soul be free
surrendered by the auto crashing spree
lift those weary lids to see
the final image eternally seek
grasp the breath that you have left
screaming at the top of your lungs
echoes and whispers be gone
echoes and whispers be gone
---
Only You
The wind is crisp
My steps are brisk
The arms unfurl
My lips they curl
I quiver and shake
I wither and flake
This world is cold
In palm I hold
Simply a secret
No longer discrete
It is you I grasp
Fluctuating rasp
Ive missed you
Always been true
Now take my embrace
Battered by mace
---
Pride Shall Rise
Rejection seals the open door
Access denied by society's judgment
Punctured underlines inked skin
Sick minds, which yearn for despair
An adapted ability to drown
They sink their thoughts until they cannot think
They swallow their pride and live in shame
They face the ground so that they cannot see
The critics towards their sanction dreams
And on the other side
Cold hearts will prevail
On the other side
Entitled to our rights
Opinions will be heard
Suggestions will be shared
All will be honored within our minority
The big, outspoken
The little, grown
In depth and width
Which lead us all to chase and race
Crawl stumble and often fall
Up again and high we rise
To the top of the hierarchy line
Populated with distinction
We live according to the blind
The unrealized becomes truth
To the value and diversities we have been presented
Likeliness is most unlikely
Additional minds subtract our ideas
Lead us adrift in a single direction
Not all will have established such course
That is the way
The leading way
---
Illusions Dilluions
There is only one place in the entire world I long to ceaselessly see
Right here
In the back of my mind
The feathered grass blades of the endless meadow
The weave of willows
Reaching for the splendid billows
Which burden the sky
Oh the clouds they continuously sink
Sink into the profound sky of my reverie
Sometimes blue
Sometimes pink
Sometimes both with an orange wink
In this heavenly meadow
It is not cold
It is not hot
It is not bold
It does not rot
A dream
A theme
It appears as it seems
With a blink of an eye
Sealed lids feel so light
When your soul starts to fly
You unravel a fight
Between reality and fantasy
The faade of the false misleading illusions
The dilemma of truth realitys delusions
Fantasy land
An escape for your fears
A gap for your tears
Dont keep for too long
Because once you open your eyes
Itll be time to confront the wrong
With true spirit and hope
Itll be gone in a lope
---
Matchstickgirl
She is wasting smiles on souls that are to bitter to answer. And when they grace a part of her they mean they cannot sense her. And a little helpless child, grew up to belive people would glady embrace her. But this girl will not unlearn, those silly facts that will make her a liar: clearly open arms and a open and welcoming mind is nothing but a dream for a user and a illwilled opposer. Gladly she will reach out, sadly they remain just as empty and hollow and angry.
Matchstickgirl, see the logic dispatches
Matchstickgirl without all of her matches
And she is not like us, her cold heart full of trust, her abused heart free from crust, she'll throw it at anything new and willing. She will be sad for real, she will be sad for free, like our buffet for our lust for reason. No scribbling down with eighter ink or something electric. A black and torn coat and a red hat is all that she needs. She loves you and you do not deserve it.
Little matchstickgirl
Smallest lips - slightest curl
---
The Will to Love
A missconception lost its will to live
Lost its power to confuse
Like a corsette with endless will to give
And a bomb with an endless fuse
And this broken and rebroken concept wanders on
Never knowing where to fall apart
Even for paradoxs' it's far too gone
A consumed and reconsumed broken heart
But sunshine finds a way to
Shine away on concept little and little your
Mathematicall frenzy, mind's needles
Professors headache when we bringeth down the truth |
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| Crushed is how i felt. |
[Jan. 8th, 2006|01:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Blackened Crown - Eisley | ] |
like a kiss to the sky
i rubbed my eyes
and you were gone.
flat face to the ground
my lips, they locked
the cold bitter feeling,
of the pavement puddles
against the fall
of the abandoned.
i cealed.
will i dare to stand up?
reach for the high
like the rise of a fall
again and again.
over and out.
the sky is drowning, and so am i. |
|
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| To the ones I love. |
[Nov. 20th, 2005|02:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
With gleaming eyes and an outstretched smile, both birthday girls rejoiced over the tight friendship they shared. Like the feeling you get after blowing the candles off your birthday cake. Knowing that each time you do, you’re a year older, an other year of experience, an other year of life, luck, love and secrets shared between the special individuals gathered for that one special night.
Watching the boys get all agitated over a simple game of foosball was additional to such a positive atmosphere. Sixteen and nineteen, a three year difference, yet it felt as if I was just as old as Jade, and she, just as old as I. That night, with our smart-mouths and interesting conversations, the random jokes and giggles, the attempt of combining our voices to make one great song, the deep emotions and trust rising from the bill of a new experience, and our child-like cheeks swollen from all the smiling.
Together, we all rose our shot glasses, not only in honour of our birthdays, but in honour of our friendship.
Jade; I look up to her the most, my older sister, the one I've always hoped for. Now I found her. So much in common yet still so much to be discovered about you.
Mike.D; We've had our ups and downs, but I can trust this guy with my life.
JJ; He always finds a way to keep us smiling, always has mocking remarks about his friends without ever really meaning it.
Phil; Always someone to call when you've got nothing better to do. He's nice, loving and super welcoming. I love him for his willingness of helping anyone who's stuck in an awful situation.
Joey.C; The best cousin one could ever have. He's a party animal, there's nothing more to it, he's a smart and amazing guy. He just makes a bad boyfriend, haha.
Big J; Joey's the best. Beneath that tall buff-guy look, he's totally open-minded, down to earth and has one huge heart. No girl is worth this guys time.
There's no picture-proof to this entry, because the pictures remain an engraved memory of our young minds. |
|
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| piece of pie. |
[Oct. 17th, 2005|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
pumpkin,pie,delivery,at-heart;<3
Thanks. |
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| Lost. |
[Oct. 16th, 2005|12:28 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
I'm missing something... I'm not sure what, may be it's the feeling of insecurity? |
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| TONSIL INFESTATION!!! |
[Oct. 14th, 2005|10:53 am] |
|
eew my tonsils are fucking infected again! i really gotta get them remvoed! this sucks! :( oh well someones coming n visit me today :D yayy.. i feel like having breakfast like eggs bacon toasts and tators... mmm. well it's the second day i miss school, man what a bummer i hope im better tomorrow, i have my tattoo appointment, i'll hafto cancel im too sick. |
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| Words that mean the world. |
[Oct. 13th, 2005|12:23 pm] |
This was fucking touching and made me realize a lot of things. This is what a true friend would tell you.
"No matter who you are .. no matter what you do.. it all comes down and its going to hit u hard right in the forhead your stomic will be hurting your hands will be shaking.you'll have tears in your eyes but u wouldnt kno why.. and onli once your down your goin to relioze no1 gives a fuck. sorry to say but not your friends or whom ever is closed to you.. everyone drifts away.. you should starting thinking for yourself before letting all these problems into your life.. you shouldstart seeing the real world instead of candy land that u live in . . and the world where music can make everything go away.. because u'll be right baq where u started :( . because im this world we live in .. is a hell on earth . its controled.. everyone is living in there own world of darkness.. but in all this darkness there is a light.. and this light will help u reloize things. and things that are concreat things that will help u lift your feet up.. and hold ur head up high . because your in your body . and no1 else is in your body they have enough shit to worry about.. and you can control your self. and no1 will ever ever ever . .get into your mindd and know what your thinking , and figure u out because you angelica have a very uniquee way of thinking and to get threw that its like a sorce of energiee that you can not pass and if u mange to pass that .. its just a puzzle from there. .without any pieces. witch will lead u right to the start where u started fromm and onli you have the pieces to this puzzle but right now your blinded fromm that because your looking but not seeing . majestic blue, pink and orange colors in the sky is somethin real somethin you kno that will not stabb u in the baq . you kno everytime u will look up it will be there for u no matter what age u are .. this is somethin real.. something that will be there even when ur 80 years old . .and saying " look at the pretty colors in the skyy when u have a great life. :) my adivce to u princess . is . be who you are. and live your life to the fulliest. your young . ask yourself do you really need stupid fuckin gproblems in your lifee that will leave u shattered. ? and once your shattered you would always be thinking of what could happen if i do this .. because it happened before.. will u live a live time watching out for problems. instead of living your life being yourself and being happi.. because then thats when u relioze " fuckk all these years i been looking for somethin that wasnt even there.. somethin that i thought would effect me . ? . " your a star ]], Yes i can tell u dont worri everythin is goin to be alright.. yes don worri im here for u . but listen . guess what im not going to tell u that . because i dont care n im sorry . all i care about , is you smiling and living your life like a normal teenager and seein you go threw life and making it. and without regeating a moment of it .and between me and you . your like the greatiest person ever and you have to relioze how beauitful you are inside. because i realiozed that a long time ago about u .. and now u have to see it.."
Posted on Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 9:46 PM
That last time made me cry... Lol, I'm so touched. I just want to thank Vince for being such a wonderful fucking friend. <3 |
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| A day close... |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|05:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | amused | ] |
Well my brithday is oh-so soon, in a little more than a month! November 17th to be exact. Ok so here's the deal friends, Friday November 11th is Jades' birthday and her and I will be both celebrating our birthdays that friday, simply because it's more fun celebrating two. Hahaha, and we're great friends. Yayaya, it's at foufs, be there or be square. November 17th? is my real birthday, and that lands on a thursday, and I'm goign to foufs because it's a thursday and I don't have school the next day (mirical) ... So ya the plan was that my birthday was going to be celebrated on that day but unfortunatley Jade couldnt make it for that weekend. She's going to be in Ottawa therefor that's why we've combined our party on the 11th. Though if you wana buy me a drink and wish me a happy birthday on the 17th, you're more then welcomed to! :P
x0x
ANj.
Who needs a he when you've got a she? |
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| Random Quotes |
[Oct. 12th, 2005|04:43 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cold | ] |
Favorite Quotes.
The Notebook.
Noah: My Dearest Allie. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter any more, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah
The OC.
Ryan: Ok, I have to pick wisely, ding-dongs or cheesesticks?
Marissa: I don’t care, pick whatever
R: well, I don’t care either so…
M: so I guess we’ll just starve
R: are you ever gonna stop being mad at me?
M: I’m not mad at you
R: Right
M: I mean, why would I be mad at you?
R: because you walked in on me with another girl
M: actually, I think she was a woman. And why would I care about that
R: I dunno, shouldn’t be a problem
M: there’s no problem
R: except…ding-dongs or cheesesticks
M: I don’t care ryan, I don’t care about ding-dongs and I don’t care about cheesesticks and I really don’t care that I walked in on you with another girl…woman, whatever
R: the only reason I was with her was because you were clearly back with luke
M: I was not back with luke
R: well you are now right
M: right so we’ll just get to mexico, split up and we never have to see each other again
R: sounds like a plan
M: did you ever wonder why I came to the pool house to find you?
R: (turning to her) everyday. Here’s your chance, clear the air, tell me
(pause)
M: cheesesticks, I hate ding-dongs
Donnie Darko
Donnie: Well I-I, sorry I...
Gretchen: Donnie wait...
Donnie: I like you a lot...
Gretchen: I just want it to be... at a time when... it...
Donnie: When what?
Gretchen: When it reminds me just...
Donnie: When it reminds you of how beautiful the world can be?
Gretchen: Yeah...
Gretchen: and right now there's some fat guy over there staring at us.
One Tree Hill.
Lucas Scott: Remember tonight, for it is the beginning of always. A promise. Like a reward for persisting through life so long alone. A belief in each other and the possibility of love. A decision to ignore, simply rise above the pain of the past. A covenant, which at once binds two souls and yet severs prior ties. A celebration of the chance taken and the challenge that lies ahead. For two will always be stronger than one, like a team braced against the tempest civil world. And love will always be the guiding force in our lives. For tonight is mere formality. Only an announcement to the world of feelings long held. Promises made long ago. In the sacred spaces of our hearts.
Myself.
Anj: Love is like an endless chase. When you think you've finally caught what you deserve, you've caught nothing but heartbreak, and that's when it starts all over again, wishing to never recap that same pain again. That stinging pain in the heart that feels like your souls being ripped apart by some stupid crush you call love. |
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| Heattt suckss |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|04:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  moody | ] |
Dude, what happened to the cold? I just had the worse bus ride EVER! I've never seen the 193 so crowded. Not to sound racist or anything, but those fkn arab women, I WANA KILL THEM! Why are the so goddamn fucking pushy. I feel like punching someone in the face when im on a crowded bus. And those babies oh lord, those things. If you're too poor to afford a car, atleast get a small friggin thing to carrie your baby in, not a fkn horse on wheels! ARGH! I'm in I think I need some time for myself... or maybe I need to go out, get drunk, haven't done that in awile. Weekends aren't long enough in my opinion. Thank god for thanksgiving weekend, but couldn't my ped day land on a friday..? just had to be a monday. Ugh I can't wait for my birthday. Dude, 44 days and still counting.
Happy Thanks Giving and what not...
BYE. |
|
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| Brrr |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|04:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] |
the days keep getting colder, it's insane! I can't wait 'till winter, I can't wait to wear my knew winter coat, i can't wait to play in the snow and i can't wait 'till XMAS BREAK! Ugh, i think way to ahead of time. What i can wait for though, are those fkn exams... damn those exams, damn them! Anyhow, why is everyone going out with someone? Why am i so lonely?! Ugh it's like, you can't like someone because they're bound not to like you back just for the sake that you liking them is somehow a turnoff because they like chasing after chicks. So you try and wait and tell yourself you'll let the guy come to you... but they don't come! THEN, when you finally find the right guy, or whomever you think is the right guy, you get guys at your feet. Will someone explain this friggin' shit to me!? What a paiiiin. Well i'm out,
PAYCEEEE. |
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| Goodbyes suck |
[Sep. 25th, 2005|11:59 am] |
Yesterday was Tyler, Robbie and Simon's last Blessed show in mtrl before their tour, 2 month tour. Weakk, I'm guna miss them. Oh well, fuck ya Van Party at their return!
Yesterday was pretty chill, got drunk then me and Alexa sorta ran into all the bros of my school and what not in front of Dome, (cuz we got carded at madhatters.. suckyy). But ya there was so much action. Fight againsdt chinkers and blood n stuff Woot! I pushed one of them and made fun of him. |
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| Routines... |
[Sep. 21st, 2005|04:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Photobooth - Death Cab | ] |
Ugh I'm so fed up. It's only the beginning of the year, yet it feels like I've bin' in school for months. Hope the year flies by. So It's official, I'm getting a transfer to Perspectives, the dumbass school... Hah, out of Laurier. It's guna be way-diff. Oh well, shit happens. Ugh can't wait for winter. So I'm pretty mad/sad, whichever, Rob's not coming down to mtrl because Joe can't get him the plane tickets, It's three guys this month that I had plans with and all three of them ended up failing... Ugh why do I bother. I figure I'll just pout in my corner till people come talk to me. I'm tired of taking the first step, calling people, making plans, babysitting stupid drunks (well that doesn't happen often because I'm normally one of them) but you know what I mean. Aah, I jsut can't wait till my birthday! NOVEMBER 17TH it's a thursday so i figure I'll go to foufs (what else is new) ... it does land on a thursday after all. And anyway, it's perfect sicne I have no school that day, or the day after... oh but fuck I'm changing school... Aaah! Hope it doesn't screw up my birthday weekend haha! Amazing. Well so long LJ readers, may be the next time I write, It'll be something slightly more on the good news side, or plain and simply more intesting.
<33 |
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| Breath in the air... |
[Sep. 15th, 2005|09:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relieved | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dice | ] |
Having trouble sleeping
Saturday morning
Hello sunshine
Watching our world
We've been on the run
One by one
I've been crying
I've been smiling
Over you
Open MY eyes
Reality, dawn upon me
Choices
Decisions
Secret codes
Symbols, signs
Misunderstandings, regrets
Shame or pride in all your actions
Consequences to face
Pros and cons
Silly lessons to be taught
Love, hate
Two strong words
Conscience and reliability
Leaving our world
So long sunshine
Sunday night
Sleep real tight
Breath in the air...
ANj KiLLS. |
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| DRAiNED |
[Sep. 13th, 2005|07:38 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Together Forever in Love - But I'm A Cheerleader | ] |
I am so sleepy. I don't recall ever being THIS sleepy in like ages! It sucks, it's only 7:30 PM and I know I won't last 'till 8:30... Hah! K so random facts, the new 'Paris Hilton' Perfume smells of strong old lady aka shit. School is effing boring, I downloaded computer game demos ever since I got home (Diner Dash is fkn fun), Perspectives might be full so I might not be able to change school :(, I've been taking photography lessons, I missed the BSB show tonight... UGHH.. Ups and downs, mostly downs. But ya anyway, ughh it's like a month now, if not more.. Me and Taylor were spose to go to La Ronde, but it so happens that everytime he's free, I'M NOT, (School) and when I'm free, he's not (He works at fkn Dome.. loser.) SO this stinks, I have one extra ticket to go to La Ronde and I haven't gone all summer. If anyones interested in accompanying me, gimme a holla. Hahaha, I need to go to the amusement park! <33
ANj- |
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| I HAVE ADD? |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|04:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  crazy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | I Just Want You to Know - BSB | ] |
School is so lame. Ugghh I hate laurier!!! But in a way I friggin' love it. The way all these italian mingia bro shpacks start fights but its all talk never hits. Haha and you just stand there watching screaming out 'KNOCK HIM! YOU SUCCKKK!' lmao... Fun times when going to LMAC. So ugh my parents are making me go to Perspectives. They went to the school (which is a school for friggin' rejects or retards that can't pass or friggin delinquints) and they spoke about my case in school, and they think I have some sort of ADD, so I hafto go for tests!!! MAGINE THAT?! Meeee, have ADD? Who woulda thunk?
Ughh, I need a lover. |
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| Hello awsumness. |
[Sep. 11th, 2005|07:17 pm] |
K so I got backstage for the Underoath, Alexisonfire, The Used show. And lemme tell you, it was friggin' awsum. In fact, I ended up smoking with the guys from Alexisonfire which I think is totally rad. I hadn't smoked in awhile, but it was an occasion. We stayed up late 'till I got real tired and left their tour bus. The drummer was way-nice. He asked for my number and payed for my cab even though I had 40 bucks on me, which is way-sweet. Hope he calls when he comes back, maybe I can hit guestlist again. Yup, we feasted on doritos and beer. Got to walk in on underoath half naked in towels cuz Dallas told me it was a washroom, really the door led to some sorta changing room behind stage. Haha, I just love awkward situations.
Ick, I have school tomorrow and I'm dead tired. Long weekend but it was hella-fun. Till next time LJ readers.
<33 |
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| asti que jmennuis de toi |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|06:08 pm] |
Ok so I haven't updates my lj in awhile. So here it goes. Couple days ago I attended the MyChildren MyBride show, because my friends bands were playing. I honestly had never even heard of mcmb before, or xmathewx, haha.. I guess I'm not a very modern myspacer? Anywho, so I noticed this cute looking guy, bored looking, and started a conversation. Believe it or not, it started off with, 'Oh i like the fur on your table!' *touch*touch* ...
Haha I'm so cracked. Well I got a free rockstar drink out of it. I heard the band play and then spoke to the band members, they were all quite awsum might I add. So taught the merch table guy some french, (he's also the bassist of the band) and got a kick out of it cuz his accent is adorable. Unfortunatley this jackass has to live in Alabama, that's right asshole, you're moving to montreal. Tu tes fait mordre, Jtaime, Asti que jmennuis de toi, <3 keep it reall and never forget the french I've taught you mutha fukka. So the next day I showed up at burger king where everyone emt up with the boys from mcmb, along with Gates, Kevin, Jp, Jj and Nat. We went out for some chinker food and I ate a lot of sushi. I was content. Aand my beb sat right next to me so that was awsum. I already miss talking to him about random things like.. cigs and how our packs are different then the ones in the states, or bad experiences with alcohol, anout his veganess, his shortness, the way he loves my french and italianess, and i miss our little arm wrestling matches. Most of all I miss him and I hope he returns real soon. So you promised me you'd fly down here again with Stephen, and you bette rkeep your promise or I'll run to Alabama and KILL YOU.
Much Love,
ANj (the msot amazing chick in montreal, DUH)
 |
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| Ughh sick and it sucks |
[Sep. 2nd, 2005|02:36 pm] |
Ok so It's like the 4th time I get tonsilidous thsi year.. pain in the ass. I probly gotta go get em' removed. I've never had it this bad thought. So shitty. Doc said I should quit smoking, so I did. Wonder how long that'll last. Wish me luck. Yup, and another thing.. I've had these 2 la ronde tickets for sooo long, got em' for free this year. If anyone wants to go, give me a holla... hahahaha. :)
Haha so sick or not, yesterday I went to Robbie's 'FUCK-YA VAN PARTY' cuz he promised my tonsils some ice cream if i went. Haha, it was pretty fun. Robbie, Simon, Tyler, Frank, Ben, Ryan, Shauna, Jenn, Miriam... we just chilled in the van... till thgey invited some whacko hobos to party with us.. We took a walk outside then sat on the van's roof while ben and the hobo pissed allover the side of the car. UGh, gross. It's a pretty chill Van though, No seats in the back, only carpeting and pillows, which they wana turn into a bed lmao. They have those red lights going on and they blacked out every window.
Fkn guys... amazing. So yup Robbie n ben promised me theyd pick me up from school wit hit, fkn awsum.
All hale the FUCK-YA VAN |
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